Maybe I Can Offer a Kindness

There are days
when the world hangs heavy on my soul
and the grey of the sky
mirrors the clouds in my mind
and the tears carve rivers down my face
and all that I can see
is all that I cannot change,
all that I cannot do.
And the weight is so much more
than my shoulders can possibly bear,
that all that is left to me
is to crumple to the floor in a heap.
And how often, how viciously
I have shamed myself
when I cannot stand.
Now I am trying to learn
how to be gentle with myself,
to speak softly and with kindness
to my own heart.
It is no easy thing, but I am trying.
Maybe right now I cannot stand.
Maybe all that I have is to lie here.
And yes, I cannot change the world.
But maybe I can offer a kindness
to someone I love,
to someone in need.
And maybe that can be a practice
towards offering myself the same.
And maybe all that you have today
is to lie here or
to go through the motions or
the absolutely minimum to get by.
I do not have much,
but I can offer you this:
          you are not alone,
          and this will not last forever.
And maybe I can remember that too.

- with special thanks to Jessica Kantrowitz